I’m always curious about other people’s New Year’s Resolutions. It’s always interesting to know the way other minds work, and often enough it also endorses an old belief of mine – that the world is really a funnier place than we think.
Here are some resolutions, in no particular order, that I came across and found, well, interesting :
1. I will not look at boys – 13 year old girl
2. I will not tell the same story at every get together- Incorrigible bore
3. I will eat ice-cream at midnight – every midnight of the year, I mean, not just this one – Ice-cream Connoisseur
4. I will not let the dog hog the pillow, growl at me from the sofa, and snatch the bun from my plate – this year she’s going to learn that I’m the Alpha of the house and only I get to do certain things – Owner of untrained dog.
5. I won’t worry so much – Fuss Budget
6. I need to start worrying a little – The Merry Spirit
7. I will cut my hair – Longhaired person
8. I will grow my hair – Shorthaired person
9. I will shave my head – Hairy person
10. I will polish my pate – Bald person
11. So many men, so little time – will make more time – Young Woman
12. This year I’m going to be kind – Unkind Person
13. This year I’m going to stop being so nice – Person who overdid it.
14. I will quack like a duck first thing in the morning and last thing at night – Donald Duck Fan
15. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant – Lazy and Smart Fellow
16. I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obviously don’t consider mine – if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll TELL him he stinks! – Diffident classmate of Lazy and Smart Fellow
17. I’m going to learn cusswords in different languages – Expert Cusser in Own Language.
18. I don’t need no STINKING resolutions! – Resolute Stinker
19. If I see a UFO I won’t tell anybody about it – Spoilsport
20. I will remember that Muffin Day is on the 29th of every month – Muffin Lover
21. I will not tell lies – 10 year old liar.
22. I will be more imaginative – 30 year old ‘Creative Person’
23. I will rename my dog something really strange and long – Exotically Inclined Person
24. I resolve to be nice to people without bringing Jesus into the equation – Secular Person
25. With that cloned cow having given birth and everything, I resolve to pay more attention to where my food comes from this next year – Organic Eater
26.I hope to be able to make people think happy thoughts when they think of me – Goody Good Two Shoes
27. I will go on long ego trips – Honest Egoist
28. I will prognosticate that I will probably procrastinate engaging in all the objectives I have premeditated for this approaching twelvemonth – Honest Wordsmith
29. I will have noble thoughts – Impure Thinker
30. I will not puff my entire body to twice its size and screech in her ear after my human has finished watching a horror movie. – Pet Cat
31. I will not bite the children of lawyers, no matter how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail.- Pet Dog
32. I’ll help the Green House Effect and stop throwing my rubbish into the school drain – Tween boy
33. I will stop throwing water down from the top floor at our school at the people passing below – Tween boy
34. I will not hang around girls – they think you love them and that sucks – Tween boy
35. I will not let lose my bodily functions right when somebody is walking underneath – Crow on the topbranch of the tree
36. I will flit gently into the night – Fruit Bat
37. I will never squat again with my spurs on – Cowboy
38. I will never again smack a man that’s been chewing tobacco – Cowboy
39. I will remember that life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Experienced Bouncer
40. I will remember it isn’t worthwhile wrestling with pigs – you get all muddy an
d don’t the pigs just love it! – Experienced Mud Wrestler and Pig Keeper.
41. I will take neither myself nor any of the above seriously – Me
Tarun Reflex 